Short version: This is the weakest field in recent political memory. The primaries will be hilarious, eventually some nutjob will be chosen, and President Obama will trounce them in the general. End of story.
Long version: I'm not going to lie. I can't wait to see the Republican Party shoot itself in the foot. There are only a few candidates who I can semi-seriously, and even they have done a great job of destroying any credibility they might have had. Prime example: Jon Huntsman from Utah, who I actually respected as a moderate and as someone willing to cross party lines, is now trying to distance himself from the president, downplay his Mormonism, and present himself as a tried-and-true conservative. Whatever, dude. I know you think you can't win a Republican primary if you, you know, appear sane, but if you tried staying true to yourself and your principles, you might be surprised. Or not. I wouldn't be shocked if you won in 2016, but it certainly won't be with my vote (although you're a Republican, so I wouldn't vote for you in any case).
I know a lot of people view Mitt Romney as a serious threat. I think he's a lightweight. He's the most opportunistic, shallow politician I've ever encountered. He's changed his position on abortion more times than I can count. When he ran for governor of Massachusetts, he was pro-choice. When he was running for president in 2008, he was pro-life. Who knows what he really is? Oh, Mittens. I look forward to hearing you tell us exactly how you're going to run this country into the ground. If you do win the primary (which could happen, although I still think the Republican electorate is going to choose someone utterly ridiculous - please let it be Palin. I've been so good this year, Santa), Obama will beat you. He may not be the perfect liberal, but at least he has some political convictions. Alec Baldwin recently described dear Mittens as a Ken doll, which is perfect. That's exactly what he is.
As for the rest of the candidates:
Tim Pawlenty - Your standard Republican governor (white, male, milquetoast, thinks he's interesting when he's clearly not). He wishes we was a serious candidate. Frankly, I'm surprised anyone can listen to him without falling asleep.
Rick Santorum - Has the crazy, but not the name recognition.
Newt Gingrich - I heard Peggy Noonan on "Meet the Press" the other day. She seemed to be under the impression that because my generation was not old enough to remember the Newt of the 90s, he would be a fresh, exciting face to us. Wow. Has she even spoken to someone under the age of 30 recently? How about no?
Gary Johnson - He was funny, if a little full of himself, on "Wait Wait, Don't Tell Me" a few weeks ago. He supports gay marriage and legalized marijuana, though, so he's not going anywhere.
Michele Bachmann - Has no chance whatsoever in the general. She might be interesting in the primary. And by interesting, I mean hysterical.
Ron Paul - HAHAHAHAHA
Herman Cain - BWAHAHAHA
Sarah Palin - Please, oh please! I would have to hear her annoying voice more often, which would stink, but if she ran, it would mean more Tina Fey (UVa grad!) parodies. Always a plus. Not to mention she's a gaffe machine and an airhead. Did you guys know that Paul Revere rode around on his horse ringing bells to warn the British to stay away from our gun rights? Yeah, me neither.
So yeah, this is going to be a great election cycle. At least I know there will still be a Democratic administration in power when I'm looking for a job after public policy school.
